SAILING AGAIN


The day has finally come for me to leave Pulau Duyong,the land of my ancestors.My grandfather and his father before him till my father's generations were the sailors who used to inhabit this beautiful island of Pulau Duyong.
Many deaths were mourned and tears shed on this beautiful island ,and all shall remained here within her bosom.

I visited my GrandPa's grave this morning and 'sedekah Al Fatihah' .Remember the days when I used to visit him with my late Bak (my Dad ),I saw his eyes became red and tears running ,yet he tried so hard to hide it from me.He still missed his father twenty years after his father died.

He told him me,when he was young his father would wait for him to finish his football game before he brought him along to graveyard.He would give all sort of excuses ,one he remembered well would be that he was not properly dressed for the solemn occasion.Then out of the blue out came a new cloth and sarong which his father brought all along.

At one forgotten corner of this graveyard was my Bak grandpa's place.I thought I saw Bak and his father side by side reciting Quraan for my Great Grandpa.Mr dear cousin,who used to swim with me around PD,his grave still looked fresh and new. My imagination ran wild when am at this sort of ancestor burial ground.Bak was buried far away from Pulau Duyong,another place where he met my mother ,ie.Kg Kijal.Thus it become my role,as the one with able legs and mind,to come and visit GrandPa and his father resting place as their only surviving relative.

I suppose come a time I shall bring my only son and later his son(s) to this place again and remind them of their roots, or else my ancestral burial ground would conveniently be taken over by the development that is going at very fast rate.Islam Hadhari has no time for emotional thing like this especially the emotion of small and insignificant people, the likes of me.

To all those that had come over to my humble abode, please remember that it was a great pleasure hosting your visit here and harap maaf for any 'terkasar bahasa' and irritating teasing that I did upon from time to time.My favourite blogs are many ,to list would be one huge task but I enjoyed the company and hope you dont mind my two cents worth of opinion.

Pulau Duyong folk are very close knit community,they care for each other and defended themselves together.I suppose in days of old when menfolks were out sailing ,they had only themselves for protection and inaccessible place in Pulau Duyong.

The Bloggers, I feel should be like folks of PD,small and hopefully united.United would the only way the defend the precious tuft of freedom of expression.

Am leaving behind all these lovely people of Pulau Duyong and Bloggers United.
My new filming schedules would take me to far away places but the thoughts and good time we had is precious to me.

I saw Dr Jay wearing a forlorn look. He is always the one with soft heart and the biz world has not been too kind to him,how I wish I could have done better for my Dear Dr Jay but I failed miserably.All he needed is a good marketing I told him that,Pam like him so much for the job well done.Pam is a better at marketing...I shall speak to her and remind her again.

One thing about PD folks and Blogger United ...you made me feel welcome.
For that am wholesomely indebted.

Tomorrow is my Birthday ...hopefully its a new beginning ,I cant afford to fail in this new movie,am getting old and krepot ...thus it better be good.

Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong:

Been a pauper(I am now),puppet ,pirate(hopefully dont turn into one again,bought pirated DVD though),poet(failed miserably) and a King(when you decide on who live and who should die ,you are a King). I've been up(when was that???) and down(most of the time) and over and out and i know one thing ,each time i find myself layin'flat on my face I just pick myself up and get back in the race( but am sure its not going to be smooth as usual is the case about sailing) ....Sinatra's 'That's Life'

The wind is blowing at the right knots ,my boats is all ready, all sails went up steady ...for a sailor son this is the right thing for me to do ,to sail again till the sea claim me whole.

Thanking You Good Bye and ASMLKm
(BOWING HUMBLY)

DR KHAIRY IN A HURRY

Mr BigDogDotcOM suggested British Comedy for dose of laughter in time of depressive thoughts,but comedy as far as I am concern is happening everyday in our life.The initial situation that seem so solemn and tense ,when viewed from different viewpoint and time would give a different twist to the whole story as the following story illustrate.Quite a fast pace and lenghty story so brace yourself and fasten your seatbelt.

The story was told to me by Dr Jay of one Dr Kairy ,who was always in a hurry.He was an oral Surgeon's friend of Dr Jay who was on call on the day of the event.He was very efficient and direct in carrying out his duty, probably similar to Arnold Susah-nak-eja's Terminator way or TOMAHAWK guided missile in singularity of purpose.Actually most Surgeon are like that according to Dr Jay.

Dr Jay met Dr Khairy at Accident and Emergency (A&E)Centre as he was disembarking from a taxi on the fated day about 20 years ago but to Dr Jay, it sounded like yesterday.The story was related about one week later when they met again .It was Comedic and KodakInstantmatic moments all etched up as one of his many funny stories that he shared with me while we had the bird-watching do.I shall relate it the best that I can.

SCENE:
On one rainy day 20 years ago at 630pm about, in Ampang Area,a place Dr K was unfamiliar with.Dr K was at workshop as his car fell sick with fever and arthritis(leaking radiator and suspension problem).Received a call to attend a man with a Dislocated Jaw at A&E in University Hospital.Dr K started his journey to UHKL,that was his purpose!

CGOPD:Dislocated Jaw normally resulted when one laugh so hilariously that he/she end up not able to close his/her jaw. Probably its best ,for the reader to try opening your jaw now .Then try to vocalise words with your mouth wide open.You'll find that every words come out gibberish and for the ones affiliated ,it can be very distressing especially if you presented yourself at A&E all alone without any relative to relate your side of the story to attending Physician.

If you are one affliated by it, as for now(you can close your mouth now !),avoid reading this any further as it can be a health hazard and the Estate of CGOPD is not in any way would pay for the your own folly in reading this story


As the story went,Dr Khairy hailed a taxi in a heavy downpour ,driven by an oldman taxi driver of a brand new taxi with specific order to go to Hospital as fast as he possibly could,after introducing himself as a Dr on an emergency call.It was a tall order to an oldtimer like this particular driver who had a thick pair of glasses to help him driving through the pouring rain.

The initial few kilometer was mainly done with the poor old driver hunched forward to see the road in front with occasional wiping of windscreen and his thick glasses to clear the mist .With urgent sense added to the journey he perspired alot too!!

It was a momentous journey to say the least.When asked how long the journey would take(since he didn't know how far it was from PJ),the exasperated driver was telling him to keep quiet as he knew what he was doing,the cultured way of saying,"You Young Punk Barnacles #@&%* SHUT UP!!!".

Message taken.Of course an impatient Dr K did asked many more questions pertaining to the journey that heighten that poor old driver anxiety ,the poor driver was all the while hunching close to the windscreen,wiping and sweating driving at the speed he knew best,thirty five kilometer per hour.

Out of choatic journey ,with endless asking and in between stern looks of the driver,they ended up in Setapak which to uninitiated like landing in Timbuktu instead of Ijok.This was Dr K familiar territoty thus out of frustration probably, asked the unthinkable of poor anxious thick glassed old driver in the pouring rain ,"Pak Cik is it possible for me to drive this taxi?".It didn't sound awkward at all ,he told himself.

Even with ego as big as ostrich's egg ,the driver out of sheer frustration handed the wheel to Dr K as he rationalised that ,considering that it was in a heavy downpour, failing eyesights and was almost after one hour of aimless driving .It was a big decision as a spanking new taxi less was than a week old.It must been a mistake ,so he thought,to hand over a new taxi to total stranger who claimed to be a Dr in a hurry ie.in Dr Khairy.His fear was well founded.

Dr Khairy gleefully took over the wheel and did what he does best,drove in a hurry.
The poor thickglassed old driver must be cursing his luck as he ,no longer the driver but the front seat passenger,saw this Dr Khairy drove at breakneck speed(as he normally does)through the heavy rain.Not fully trusting the suspicious new driver he was all along hunched forward on the passenger seat towards the windscreen with two palms anchored on the side dash board on the passenger side.

This was the situation when Dr Khairy was stopped in front of Parliment by Police Patrol on a big bike for speeding.The Policeman was calmly approaching the driver (Dr K) of the taxi to question the driver for the rationality of driving at breakneck speed on wet road.The Driver ( now a passenger)prior to the arrival of the Policeman , was scolding Dr K for driving so fast and muttering that it was a bad day for him as this was a brand new car and he couldnt afford to pay the summon and wondering whether ten ringgit if Dr K could spare ,as part of presumed sum of taxi fare, could be used for initiall dealing.

Of course he quiten up to complete silence when the Policeman appeared at the side of the driver(Dr K's side)while both of his palms firmly anchored on the dashboard but this time wide eyed ,magnified many times on his thick glasses.

The conversation went on like this:

Policeman:
Encik,It seemed to me that you were driving at a speed exceeding the limit .Dont you know that its dangerous in this weather?

Dr Khairy(In the Driver seat):
I’m sorry Dato’ , I am in emergency situation on the way to hospital.

Policeman:
Oh I see

(Bending down and instantly caught the sight of the Driver who is in passenger front seat, with his palms still anchored to the dashboard , only head turning to the Policeman.He must have looked very distressed then, as his eyes looked much bigger magnified by his thick glasses looking to the Policeman with worries written all over.)

Policeman:
Are you sick PakCik

The Driver(Ex Driver):
Turning his head vigourously disagreeing with the Policeman but still speechless out of double frights he had on that day.

Dr Khairy:
Oh Sorry Sir, He is the taxi driver!

Policeman:
(Surprised look all over and looking at the one on the wheel )
And You???

Dr Khairy:
I am a Doctor on the way to Hospital

Policeman’s Bubble:
Oh my God,this man( the Taxi driver who was no longer a driver) is about to die!! The Doctor has taken over the wheel and he couldn’t even speak…This patient deserve a Police Rider escort to emergency

Policeman:
(Hurriedly getting himself ready before running back to his Big Rider Bike)
You follow me!!

Dr Khairy’s Bubble:
Who am I to argue .




Scene:

Wealing Siren of Police Rider and a speed faster than initial breakneck ,the brand new taxi flew like a Lamboghini zig zaging the evening traffic on the slippery road with ease.The new able driver in the form of Dr Khairy was too happy to press the accelerator faster and faster.The tyre were new he remembered.

According to Dr Khairy,initially relieved Oldman (after the Poiceman decided not to issue summon),was too brief as he realised that the subsequent journey would belong to F1 circuit trial run laps.If you can imagine,as he recalled the event, a cat on a roof of a moving lorry ,the one with straighent tail,furs on ends and widen eyes ,then it would be close resemblance of the PakCik on the passenger side of the front seat.To complete the picture his fingers were all spread eagle clawing on the dashboard ,eyes widen with face inches away from the windscreen.There was no frighten meow though but he remembered correctly he heard PakCik teeth chattering,
Kkk…kkk….kkk…kkkKk....til he reached the A&E.

As he reached A&E ,the stretcher were all ready ,as the good Policeman must have went on air with the emergency service with the impending arrival of patient in dire need of emergency service.The assistants were pushing the trolley to the Oldman side ,opening the door and trying to pry out a sick Oldman who refused to be helped.There was a big commotions with nice cajoling words of concern nurses and assistants and loudly worded words of a 'patient' who keep on repeatingly telling everyone that he is not sick.This must be one recalcitrant patient ,so they thought.

The new taxi driver @Dr Khairy was just unable to unbundle the events he created as the nurses thoughts that they could understand the situation better than a 'Taxidriver'.Seing that he was not needed, he just walked calmly into a Doctors room in A&E to attend to his patient.

Unbeknownst to him the patient with 'Dislocated Jaw' was watching the unfolding of events at the A&E reception areas ( jaw wide open but was not awed by the situation ).He actually remembered seing the taxi driver walked off the taxi and into Dr room and it certainly looked very odd.He had heard of people impersonating a doctor but a taxi driver doing that would be one tall tales to remember.

"I hope he doesnot harm anyone in the process ,as its not for me to do reporting with my jaws wide opened and gibberish word wouldnt constitute a good reporting",probable bubble that clouded his mind.

Out came a young student nurse calling the patient name from the room where the 'taxi driver'just walked in.He couldnt answer but lifted his arm.He tried to tell people around him that the taxi driver could be impersonating a doctor ,but all that came out were alien vowels and consonants.

The impatient nurse realising that he was the patient ,came over guided him to the room.She must have thought two recalcitrant patients in one night were too much of coincidence.Being a student nurse and assisting a doctor ,is a great job,thus it would be best that she shown the good Dr that she knew the patient well as she brought in the patient.She was just trying to be Florence Nightingale and speak on behalf of those who couldnt speak....


The initial consultation on a reluctant patient went like this with four version in Bahasa Malaysia(BM) ,The Dislocated Jaw version(DLJV) English(ENG) and Sign Language Version(SLV):

Patient:
DLJV: Haah Hye hang hawok heksi hakdi huhan hawok ke
BM: Maaf ya yang bawak teksi tadi bukan awak ke?
ENG: My apologies ,arent you the one who drove the taxi or arent you the taxi driver?
SLV :he couldnt speak so he made apology with clasped hand and pointing at Dr Khairy and then make his hand as if he is holding a steering wheel and turning corners

Dr Khairy:
I dont understand you Sir ,do you nurse?
(He thought the nurse must have spoken to the family member and they probably have left as the waiting was too long)

The Young Nurse:
I think he is telling you how he got this problem,probably driving and involve in an accident.

Patient:
DLJV: huhan!! huhan!! Haye hingk ye huhan hokto hahi wive heksi haye hapok hie huluor heksi hadi

BM: Bukan! Bukan! saya ingat dia bukan doktor (tapi)driver taxi ,Saya nampak die keluar teksi tadi
ENG: NO!! NO!! I think he is not a Dr but a taxi driver ,I saw him coming out of taxi
SLV: Since the words were gibberish ,the sign language were by Waving his hand as a big NO and trying to describe taxi as a small wheel turning probably refering to the wheel of an old meter (20 years ago the taximeter look like that) and again hand on the steering sign and doing corners signs.

The Young Nurse:
Oh I see, I see...you trying to avoid a child doing a wheelie on the road and thats how you got involve in accident.(Some imagination she got)

Realising that the story was not true or wrongly translated as the dislocated jaw did not normally happen during accident and no sign of other injury shown,Dr Khairy ,as he was in a hurry,decided to treat without any more attempts to get any history from the patient.The patient looked like he refused to be treated and had to be hold down to quiten him(not that any word came out except for ouuuuu,,arrrgh and eeeekkk).

Note by CGOPD:
The way to reduce the dislocated jaw is to calm down the patient(by hook or crook)and placed your gloved thumb padded by gauzes,on the last bottom molars on both side.Rest assured he cant bite you as he cant close his mouth.Place a constant pressure downwards until you feel a give and pushed it backwards.Guide it slowly,secukup rasa,and take out your fingers immediately.

Please dont crack further jokes pertaining to the events or asking him the events that lead to it as he might laugh again and dislocate the jaw again.Its best that you tie his jaw shut by bandaging it to the head,in which case he would still unable to talk.


In betwwen cries and resistant ,the patient was given sleeping drug through his vein to relax him and Dr Khairy hurriedly reduced the dislocation .In so doing proven to the patient that he was indeed a doctor .He was speechless(he got his jaw tied up) but shake Dr Khairy's hand and went to sleep.

The patients thoughts and frutration was related to Dr Khairy the next morning and the events were related to Dr Jay when Dr Khairy was asked about the commotion he caused that night and later to me while we were sitting watching the birds in Pulau Duyong.

I believe the story doesnot sound hilirious to you but when told by DrJay with his good acting skill doing the mute patient and The Driver hand clawed on the dashboard ,i could have died laughing.Thats the thing about me laughing that at times made Dr Jay warning me about the dislocated jaw and telling me how to deal with it.So now you know how to deal with it.
GoodNight.

ANDI'S BAG Part Two


CGOPD:
I met the lovely and effervescent Elviza of 'Writeaway' fame today,the one with lovely poster all ready to strike.She insisted on me finishing the true story of Andi ASAP.For those who just drop by ,its best that you read the first installation as I wont charge you a single sen ,I tend to be generous when my birthday is around the corner.
Dr Jay,please continue.

Dr Jay:
Andi was booked for the earliest available time on the OT list ie.the next day.We felt that we couldnt prolong his agony any longer, even for one extra day.Considering the colostomy that he had,he managed somehow or rather to grow up without any severe malnourishment,in which case the op would be better of be postponed to stabilise the patient.Andi was as fit as a fiddle thus he was on as the first case in the morning.
I hold my medical officer by the throat and forced all his charms to be used to make sure that the op would be on as schedule.Many at times working in Goverment hospitals,half of the energy spent were used on convincing the anaesthetic colleague to give priority to your patient.He had his own priority,and I had mine.

We fought,conned and bribed our way through for the sake of our patient...this must be the selfish part of me called upon when I was fighting for my patient to be included into the operating list ASAP.I was not into popularity contest ,and I could sleep at a drop of a hat, even with half of the hospital staff hated me (for all I care).
It was not a difficult task as far as this special patient was concern,everyone gave Andi the top level VVIP treament..everyone felt so guilty i guess.

It was a simplest of operation,everything went smoothly and ended in a jiffy with minimal blood lost.When all the i's were dotted and t's crossed,he was wheeled out to main ward without any need of close obsevation.It felt like ,even if it would take the whole world conspiring to screw up this boy's day it wouldnt happen as he had paid all his dues and that day was his payback day, with the grace of God.

Dr Jay:
The total recovery took three days.Everyday when I did my wardround and came to his turn,he would tell me something that most normal people would take for granted.

He would say,"You know Dr Jay,I guess Ismail(his blind friend) wouldn't be able to find me now without my smell, when we play hide and seek ", said with wide cheeky grin.

On second day ,tugging on my labcoat asking me when he could go back to school.It would be a very proud day for him to go back to school without all those paraphenalia that seem to be with him as long as he could remember.

But the best day was the third day post op when i saw him walking in the ward in the morning with smile extending from one ear to another.Not much word spoken with the thumb up sign shown to me from one end of the long ward as I walked in. As he appeared close to me ,all he said in a whisper was ,"Dr Jay Berak Best la!!".....

You know how I felt? I could have cried ...but that would be too embarassing for someone who is so stern and used to scold everyone left, right and centre for breakfast.Andi's words humbled me as many of things blessed by Allah to us human,were taken for granted without a tinge of gratefulness .Nevertheless I told myself,that was one hell of job satisfaction,one satisfaction that no amount of money could buy !!

Dr Jay:
I left Andi alone to do the healing as his recovery were taken care of by prayers of person who was a victim of circumstances.Allah pay special attention to this sort of prayer .My mother said 'Orang teraniya Doanya Makbul!!'.

I met him again in between my busy schedules,emergencies , operating and catching up with my sleep.That was the day he was 'directing' the packing after being discharge.Rogayah did the packing as he seemed to play the sick role ,which am sure, not really necessary as he was normal in every sense.

Rogayah was rearranging things and finally was holding a stack of plastic bags which they brought from Johor which has been a regular feature of Andi.He was quick to point out even without asking my opinion ,"Kak,tak payah bawa balik,tinggal jelah kat sini(Sis,we dont have to bring back those plastic bag anymore)"....Rogayah look at me with a smile as I nodded my head with full agreement with the young confident director.

Andi left for home after one week of hospital stay ,he has no use for the plastic bag anymore....

CGOPD:
Dr Jay when he talked of Andi ,he would repeat this"He must be a grown up young man by now", and he smiled

“Humanity is unregenerable and hates the language of conformity, as conformity has a whiff of the inhuman about it”
(Anthony Burgess).

ANDI'S BAG Part One



I heard this story from a close friend of mine ,a Surgeon Dr Jay.Been relating this story many time for anyone care to listen.Cant afford to repeat it as Mrs Gable has grown tired of listening to it all when we were entertaining visitors to the point that,within the corner of my eyes,she would
do the lipsync .... I told you she knew me too well as me being predictable and repeatative,so she said.So this better be the last time before Mrs Gable started to cry .....out of sheer boredom.

CGOPD:
Dr Jay ,was the doctor who operated on me,became a family friend and share many interests ( ie.birdwatching and fishing)in short we enjoy each other company .Many stories told to me while fishing or waiting for the flock of birds to appear,certainly worth retelling ,this is one of them ,the story of Andi's Bag.

Dr Jay:

I guess Andi(not real name) must be 26 years old now married and happy.I knew him when he was nine ,as he was presented to me from Johor Baharu by his sister.I was a young ,handsome (much better than you CG,he would always claimed),full of hair and just qualified as a surgeon,eagerly waiting to 'cut and heal' and cure all who came to seek my assistance.Such nobel thought,but many at times the patients were the one who taught you in return the lesson of life ......in ways how humbling a life can be if simple thing in life blessed upon you by God,were taken away.The lesson to be 'Bersyukor' to Allah's for the bounty heaped upon you ungrateful ,impudent and insolent brute!!


Dr Jay:

It was the first clinic on the first day of me being a Surgeon.I went inspite of my blocked nose as i wouldnt want to miss the day for the world.I had seen three patients on that day when a nurse came and beg me to see the patient number 30(or about) skipping all others on the list.Me being stickler to order on mad rush monday morning insisted that if the case is of any urgency,it was best to refer to Emergency Department,as no one would like to have anyone skipping numbers ,when everyone was equally sick

"It's OK Dr,everyone insisted that the patient being called first and if you dont mind, am going to the next room and you can call me when you need me",the nurse excused herself without being excused to the next room after ushering Andi and his sister Rogayah(not her real name) to my room.

Rogayah , a shy young lady, demure but look very mature ,determined and responsible almost a mother.The way Andi walk with shy look into my office with his million dollar smile was a sight to behold.A child of nine with whole world's burden to carry yet smile as wide as my office door.I reckoned ,he must have been a child that was so good at making other people comfortable.He surveyed the room yet never letting go Rogayah's hold.

Rogayah was the one sitting with Andi standing close.

"I mintak ampun banyak banyak kerana bau busuk ni(I humbly apologise for nauseating smell)",the first word uttered by Rogayah and pointing to Andi's bag. I surveyed with my eyes and saw a yellow plastic bag dangling on left side of his tummy half filled with faeces.The pong suddenly unblock my nose and Andi's was grinning and soundlessly apologising to me with his Bambi's eyes.I walked to the sink , roti chanai crawling up my throat with expectant delivery.I thought I saw my nurse smiling at the end of the long interconnected rooms,the wicked smile you get when someone did a practical joke on you.

Andi extended his hand with all innocence,wondering what the fuss was all about...I took his hand and later realised how cruel life had treated him.Later,I told myself if someone were to say he/she had miserable chilhood,I shall throw Andi's story to him/her and see whether they could upstage that.


Andi was one of those child who was unfortunate enough to be delivered to this world with congenital defect called ' Imperforate Anus',basically born with without anal opening.One of the thing the doctors or nurses asked about a newborn babies is to find out whether they've passed a stool called meconium,the black tarry stool.The passing signify that the tract is complete from one end to the other.In Andi's case the absence of opening , would result in grossly distended tummy after a few hour of life as meconium and air couldnt be expelled out.I believe he had emergency operation on the first day of life ,this was later confirmed by Rogayah,she was 12 year old girl then.

As fate had it Andi's two end that didnt meet were only separated by a thin layer of membrane about 20sen coin thick,the least severe variety of congenital anomolies.He was expected to be referred at one year of age for final repair which would made him a normal boy again after the final corrective work.Though troublesome it might seem ,the colostomy bag is odour proof and with proper care would post little problem.Unfortunately his one year wait was not on Greenwhich mean time.

Dr Jay:

Andi's fate were related to many unfortunate events ,none of his doings.He was the the 6th in the family of ten with youngersiblings coming in short succession.Thus he was quick to be weaned off the mother's milk ,probably malnourished as well as one would expect to have a father,the sole breadwinner , who worked as taxi driver with twelve mouths to feed.

Overtime the father decided to take a second wife and the meagre income would later be shared with two families.
With assocociated surgical defect,malnourished state and little attention that he had no one would be surprised if he didnt survive through it all that.Kids died with much simpler ailment.....presevered he certainly did.

When time was difficult ,the father decided it was cheaper to use a normal plastic bag instead of odourless colostomy bag.Over the years Andi became so good at changing it himself and thats what he had been doing till the day he came to my clinic at nine years of age.

Primary school can be a cruel place even to a child in excellent medical health.Kids would tease to no end anyone with little abnormality be it BatEar,the irregular gaits or a transient stutter. Imagine a child with a smell of faeces and a plastic bag dangled alongside him ,then you can imagine the turmoil that he had to endure in his growing up years.According to him ,he has but only one friend, a blind boy who would able to find him no matter his whereabout!!

Rogayah left school early and started to work as factoryhand to support the family.After two years of saving she had enough money to bring him to Kuala Lumpur to seek proper surgical treatment in Goverment hospital,that was the day I met Andi.

Next:Andi's Operation

CGOPD REPORTING FOR DATO SHAZIMAN OF KTAK MINISTRY


Dear Dato'Shaziman,

I received your letter with great relief as I thought you have all forgotten about our chance meeting the other day.I believe you have an unenviable task of registering all the bloggers as decreed by the government .Your 'brilliant' idea to put the blog world in order so that they may be classified and acted upon accordingly,is certainly worth the accolades heaped on you as one of the smartest hotair head around .

Allow me to introduce myself again,My Name is Mr Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong,5'8"(some say I look taller at night) 90kg ,with handsome face ,steady hands,charming general outlook,pleasant personality,impeccable dressing sense,tolerable sense of humor and suspect intellect ,residing here in this Pulau Duyong Blog.I can go on with the introduction but that would make you think that I am one who think too highly of oneself.The photo of me taken in Bahamas with bevy of beauties hereby enclosed ,attest to my above mentioned qualities,the one on my left is the late Nicole.

I took the liberty of studying the world of bloggers which i feel would be useful for you in your new line of work.I feel 'terpanggilled'(i love this word when used by politicians like your goodself, to describe their selfless devotion to work)to contribute as any responsible citizen would.If by any chance you feel that I am of great value to you (like Sheih is to PAS),feel free to call me at the above number.My apologies for this late reply,I was down with eye problem due to my bird-watching hobby ,thus i couldnt contact you earlier.

Here is my innitial report on classification and terms used by bloggers in Malaysia:


BLOGERRA:
Define as a male blogger regardless of their agenda.So its very polite to address a blogger as "Hello Mr Blogerra" if you meet a man who blog vigorously as if his whole live depend on it and by so doing ,you would make him feel important.You can read the testosterone ozzing when these Blogerras write.If he start to walk on air or write in very codescending words,you class them in subgroup 'Carbonated Bloggera' which is a special subclass of bloggers best not discussed here.
The famous Blogerra are:
Rocky's of Rocky Bru,BigDog ,Kickdefella,TokAsid,Penarek Beca,The Voice ,Zorro,Ron,D'KadirJ,Raja Petra and Malay Male.

BLOGGERITA:
Define as female bloggers of varied personal agenda.They may talk of politic ,recipe,looking beautiful,child upbringing or male hating things but the emotions potrayed are certainly of feminine variety.The estrogenic words are more soothing and refine with many symphatatic undertones to it.
eg.Ms Nuraina Samad,Mm Marina Mahathir,Elvira and Susan Loone.

NOTE:
The estrogenic and testosteronic phrases are quite interchangeable by Bloggerita and Bloggera alikes,thus its best that you dont judge their gender after reading one posting by any anonymous blogger.Read with a free unassuming mind and judge it after several months.They may sound bloggeritanic today but bloggeranic a few weeks later.Some change sex everyday.

BLOGGERONOMOUS:
Define as anonymous blogger with indeterminate gender.Further reading wouldnt be able to redefine to the class they belongs to and they are quite happy to be in the stated state of blogging.
eg.UnassumingMe,Rek-Rek and Cilok.

BLOGGERITIS:
Define as initial state of inflamamation or anger about an issue that the Bloggeras and Bloggeritas experience. They feel that their two-sen worth of opinion must be expressed for the whole world to know.In real world my mother called 'kepochi type'.Certain issues benefited greatly when the bloggeritis strike.
eg.Humble Abode in Perth,The issue brought up by a man who bought an award,ZAM.

BLOGGEREXIC:
Define as the state of mind that affected all bloggers when they decided not to blog for weeks on end ,leaving their fans based getting schizophrenic and obsessively pressing on their URL link hoping to see their new posting.
eg.Mr Bergen was infected by Bloggerexic condition two months ago.

BLOGGERHOEA;
The state of diarrhoea of blogs when the said blogger keep on posting new post every hours with incoherent thoughts and ideas .The more we read ,more confuse the reader would become.Nothing is more confusing that the state of bloggerhoea ...old,smelly,new,unblended,unverified,undigested and half form topic being posted.
eg. A writer of RRR(Rectally Eminence Rehman Rashid) standing ,if he were to write blog would be easily affliated with this bloggerhoe as his area of expertise is within 'touching' distance.

I hope this insider information would be of great help to you .If you find my work as astounding and remarkable feel free to express it,am quite used to people saying thats as far as my reporting is concern...this not an attempt to'angkat-bakul by my own self',far from it.

Dear Dato,
Of course the list is inexhaustible,new terms keep cropping up everyday and its best that you keep abreast with the development so that you'll be kept informed and dont come out with'out-of-space' or stupid statement( of course this not in any way implying that you were from outer space).The persons as the like of me,myself and I would be well informed and updated with the latest tricks used by bloggers (ie.your sworn enemy) .Hiring me,would definitely bring some muscle to your latest campaign.Ninety percent of blogger ,for you information, are unemployed,me included.

I must admit that am not technologically advance as Sheih or an astute and refine writer as RRR,but if my wife saying has any bearing in your decision making to hire me in permanent basis with reasonable salary,a driver and free oversea travels ,this is what she said about me:

"Mr Clarke Gable ,when it come to words and woman ,you are something!!
(not in specific order depending on time ,place and the person around)

For further detail meaning to it,you are free to speak with my wife personally,she is my only referee.


Looking Forward To Your Favourable Reply.

"Berkhidmat Utk Negara dan Semestinya Hidup UMNO"

Yours Sincerely

CGOPD

ps:
The photo is for your eyes only,if Mrs Gable get hold of it I'll be a dead man.That how much i trusted you Sir.

IN FAR AWAY LAND PULAU DUYONG'S MILLIONS ENTWINED


Ganesh Sahathevan

The following extracts from documents in the public domain tell a story about Equine Capital's Patrick Lim Soon Kit, his wife Wong Mun Yee @ Cindy Lim, one Kamaluddin Abdullah Badawi, a self-made millionaire (or billionaire), and his father, Prime Minister of Malaysia, Abdullah Badawi.

A:
Datuk Patrick Lim Soo Kit is a substantialshareholder of the Company (Equine Capital) with indirect interest of 22.63%. He is the husband of Datin Wong Mun Yee and nephew to Lim Ah Yee and Lim Ah Chai. Datin Wong Mun Yee, Lim Ah Yee and Lim Ah Chai are also substantial shareholders of the Company with indirect interest of 22.63%. (Equine Capital Bhd, 2004 Annual Report, pageS 16-17)

B:
34 Bay View Terrace, Mosman Park An Extract from the Certificate of Title:
Registered Proprietor: Mun Yee Wong of 2/19 Melville Beach Rd, AppleCross
Registered 11 March 2004
Encumbrances: Mortgage to National Australia Bank, Registered 11 March 2004

C:
Raja Petra of Malaysia-Today: Malaysia's First Family's family home at 34, Bay View Terrace, Mosman Park, Perth, Australia is currently under extensive and massive renovation works. A house bought by a non-permanent resident has to be renovated at a cost of more than half the purchase price.

D:
Umno Youth deputy chief Khairy Jamaluddin today clarified the allegation that his father-in-law, Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, owns a ‘RM60 million’ house in Australia. According to him, the house belongs to Abdullah’s son and prominent businessman Kamaludin (Khairy: Aussie mansion belongs to PM’s son)

E:
PENANG, birthplace of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, is set to benefit from several Ninth Malaysia Plan infrastructure projects, namely the Penang Outer Ring Road, monorail and second bridge projects. ....One company that is set to benefit significantly from this is property developer Equine Capital Bhd. Its integrated Crescentia Park project and Penang International Equestrian Centre, at the 2,560-hectare Bandar Cassia township in Batu Kawan, is located at the mainland end of the Second Bridge. ....Lim was a major beneficiary of government spending in the high-profiled Monsoon Cup In Pulau Duyong.

(A bridge to higher profits
By Joanna Sze ,1 January 2007
Malaysian Business)

CGOPD:
The Monsoon Cup was held purely to Promote Tourism,Islamic Hadhari and Marine Heritage of Pulau Duyong.This article tarnishing goodname of the main benefciaries of almost half a billion ringgit spent,is really mischievous and inaccurate.To assume that the money was siphoned to Perth thru BatuKawan Soprano's link is preposterous !!! There is no Al Ghazalli in Perth so its unthinkable for PakLah to even consider making Perth his home.
To commemerate the event of renaming Pulau Duyong as Pulau Warisan(please help me God) ,a batu erected ,in full cognizant of Trg MB shall be named 'Batu Pak Lah'.This of course with reference to an existing 'Batu Bersurat'

(Somehow Clark Gable of Pulau Warisan sound so odd.)

KJ claimed that the house belongs to Kamaruddin ,and not PakLah .The Document state that it belongs to certain Datin Wong Moon Yee.They must be close buddy or closeknit family or somethin'..spirit of sharing is alive and well in Perth and Pulau Duyong.

THE TROUBLE WITH MR CLARK GABLE OF PULAU DUYONG<br />


My young good neighbour who just got married for less than three years decided to end their partnership.I believe any marriage must go through stage of orientation which can last for a few years.This is the time of discovery of all hidden bad habits which were nicely subdued during courting days.The loud morning windly instrumental song with the accompaniment of 'ambipure'odour, public balls adjustment and nose picking and flipping it around are just a few 'cultured' habits attained through unrestrained bringing up by ever forgiving parents of your new partner. This discoveries are part of orientation programme that every new couple must endure for everlasting peace till death do you part.



Ms Elviza could sense that I am in trouble,I suppose a good lawyers came with that inert ability to read between the lines.Trouble and marriage is the lyric and melodies that stick together with the love as undercurrent.(I better stop being too polongsophical here)Mokk, another dear dr friend, suggested a few tips one of which is to do more'memendekkan karangan' trick,to which i agree.

Being married ,as long as I am to Mrs Gable has many benefits.First and foremost the beautiful kids that I adore(most Genes are from her side of family)and secondly having a inhouse person who can critisize you that really can touch you to the very bare bone,at no extra cost.

Of course this is reciprocal except for some sensitive topic like Global warming,my very own mother in-law,weight issue,Amazon deforestration ,Iran nuclear issue and cooking menu for the day.This is not listed in order of priority, if you care to do some reasearch on it.Its good that I put up in my blog so that this can become case study for young married couple ,and they can learn from reallife situation just like akademi fantasia...since AF is all the craze now.It is as real as it can get.

It can just start as any other day as I sit here in my humble abode in Pulau Duyong,writing my blog,sipping tea at 230pm in the afternoon,with binocular on ready and Mrs Gable doing her cross stitch humming her favourite songs.

The conversations start innocently enough with the story of MakCik Yam our neighbour or the stray cows in our compound.Of late i notice that the moment Pam's name mentioned,not that its my fault as she ask me to whom I was writing to,the title of coversation became off tangent .This is a bit difficult for me to fathom considering that am like father sort of figure to Pam who always ever so nice to me .

It normally begins with ,"You know Whats The Trouble With You Mr Clark Gable?"(she tend to address me with formal Mr title when this type of conversation begins...try to train your partner to do this so that you are better prepared when the conversation take a sudden turn in tune,tone and melody)

Mrs Clark Gable:
You ,Mr Clark Gable are too predictable!! P.R.E.D.I.C.T.B.L.E.
(she won spellingbee contest when she was young,so its best that you try not to correct the spelling)

Mrs Clark Gable:
You keep on doing similar things at similar time everyday year in year out.Some people can say it 'a bore ' but that would be too crude to your sensitive ears and people just went out of their way to be nice to you .Not me Sire!

(Your title can change many times but mostly of 'respectable titles,it can be Tun or TanSri if you are lucky)

Mrs Clark Gable:
I thought Dr called people like you obsessive compulsive arent they?

(still doing x stitches without even lifting her eyes to meet mine)

Mr CGOPD:
Oh really..(still blogging and hoping for new ideas ...'Whats wrong with CGOPD' seems like a good topic,but of course its best that i stay quiet)


Mrs Clark Gable:
And you think i never visit your blog where you been telling people how nice you are ,being a gentleman ,handsome face,sturdy hands ,generous with praises and all those craps?? And what this you, giving advises to all the world about how to win women's heart as if women were drolling over this old wrinkled,krepot(this word make me cringe!!) body of yours?
And advising Johorean to express their worries on South Johor Project when our own financial 'worries' seem non of your concern.

(She norm